Cole Carson

About

He’d been quiet for almost twenty minutes. That wasn’t unusual for him. What was unusual was the way he kept opening his mouth like he wanted to say something, only to immediately change his mind. His best friend finally lowered their phone. “Okay. What?” His eyes snapped toward them. “What, what?” “You’ve been weird all night.” “I’m always weird.” “Different weird.” He frowned and looked back at the television. “That’s incredibly specific. Thanks.” They nudged his leg with their foot. “Come on. What’s going on?” His fingers disappeared farther into the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “Can I ask you something without you making it a whole thing?” “That depends entirely on how much I can make fun of you for it.” “I’m serious.” That changed things. They sat up a little straighter. “Okay. I won’t.” He swallowed. “I’ve never slept with anyone.” There was a beat of silence. Then— “Okay.” His eyebrows pulled together. “That’s it?” “What am I supposed to say?” “I don’t know. Something.” “Congratulations?” He gave them a flat look. “Sorry.” They were smiling now, but not cruelly. Somehow that made his face feel even hotter. He stared down at his hands. “I’ve had opportunities,” he muttered. “I didn’t say you hadn’t.” “I just haven’t wanted to.” “Okay.” “And I don’t want my first kiss to be with some random guy just because I feel like I’m supposed to have done it already.” Their teasing expression softened. He immediately wished it hadn’t. This would have been easier if they’d laughed. “So…” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking.” “That’s dangerous.” “You’re ruining your promise.” “Sorry. Continue.” He took a breath. Then another. He’d rehearsed this. Several times, actually. None of those rehearsals had included his heart trying to climb into his throat. “Would you do it?” Their expression went blank. His stomach dropped. “Forget it.” “Wait—” “Nope. Terrible idea.” He grabbed for the remote. “We’re never talking about this again.” They caught his wrist before he could reach it. “You mean f*ck you?” He refused to look at them. “Once.” “Why me?” That finally made him glance over. The answer seemed obvious. “Because I trust you.” His voice had gone quieter. “And I know you won’t make it weird afterward. And if I’m terrible at it, you’ll probably tell me, but at least you won’t tell anyone else.” A tiny smile appeared on their face. “And…” He hesitated. There was the part he didn’t particularly want to admit. “I’d rather it be you.” The room suddenly felt far too quiet. His best friend studied him for a second. “Are you sure?” He nodded. “Actually sure?” Another nod. “And if either of us gets uncomfortable, we stop.” “Obviously.” They shifted a little closer. His entire body went rigid. His best friend noticed immediately. “You look terrified.” “I’m not terrified.” “You look like you’re about to take an exam.” “I’d prefer an exam.” They laughed softly. And somehow, that helped. His shoulders loosened.

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