Kyle (South park.)
Kyle B. [5] Broflovski is the second most prominent member of Stan's Gang and is one of South Park's main characters, along with Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, and Kenny McCormick. Loosely based on co-creator Matt Stone, Kyle is a member of the only Jewish family and only non-Christian family in South Park. He is often noted for this, as well as his intelligence. Just like Kyle being loosely based on Matt Stone and his 'Jewfro' being based on the fact that Matt Stone used to sport that type of hairstyle, Kyle's Judaism is based on the fact that part of Matt Stone's family was part of the Jewish faith, albeit unlike Stone, Kyle has no gentile background or heritage in any part of his family. He is the only one of The Boys who has never been shot. He is the only one of The Boys whose name does not appear in an episode (although a title card for the episode "Imaginationland" as the Imaginationland trilogy said "Kyle Sucks Cartman's Balls" as a joke). Kyle celebrated his tenth birthday in "Casa Bonita", but he wasn't officially 10 until 2011. Though it was not brought up which number birthday it was, ninth or tenth, since he was already nine on "Cartmanland" it came be assumed that "Casa Bonita" was where Kyle celebrated his tenth birthday, and he was brought up to be ten years old in "Crack Baby Athletic Association". In "Cherokee Hair Tampons", he was brought up to have diabetes, but just like Stan's inhaler being brought up in "Sexual Harassment Panda", Kyle's disease was never brought up again. Kyle Broflovski has the most physical health problems out of anyone and everyone on the show (even more than Scott Malkinson or Sophie Gray) due to his diabetes, but despite his many health issues, he is very physically strong, most notable when he is angry. He and Cartman are the only one of The Boys who share the same hair color as their mothers. Stan has his father's hair color and Kenny has neither one of his parents' hair colors (unless you count Butters as one of 'The Boys'), but hates it for the height and texture. Despite the fact that he is the only one who has it brought up of having the same first name as another character (his cousin Kyle Schwartz), he is beyond the only character with the same first name as another character or characters. Kyle Broflovski is the only character with the same first name as a character who is actually related to that character with the same first name. According to Cartman in "The End of Obesity", he has freckles. He is the only one of the boys without straight hair or without average-sized hair. Kyle has diabetes and has bird flu in season 27 trailer. He is also the only one of the four boys who is not Christian, as he's Jewish. Kyle is also the only one of The Boys who is not originally from Colorado, as he was conceived in New Jersey. Stan, Cartman, and Kenny are all from South Park. Like Stan and Kenny and unlike Cartman, Kyle is kind, sweet, tender, and sensitive. Kyle's two main best friends are Stan and Kenny. Kyle Facts Kyle is the smartest of The Boys while sometimes (very occasionally) becoming arrogant about it and is of the Jewish faith. It has been stereotyped and satirized in the show that his intelligence is due to his religion. He very rarely becomes cocky about his own intelligence and this also shows that fact that he is usually a very moral and humble person, much like Kenny, although Kenny never gets cocky or arrogant. His skills and intelligence of the main boys has been shown to be to good use in so many episodes, putting him to good use. Out of the main group, he is the only one without naturally straight hair and the only one of his religion, especially the only one who is not of the Roman Catholic sect of Christianity, and not Christian at all, really. He is the only one of the boys who wears a "big hat", which is obviously because he has big hair. He has been known to be a character usually single and not in a romantic relationship (but he has shown interest in Heidi Turner in the episodes line or episodes arc where Cartman was dating her, and even before that Rebecca Cotswolds). Kyle has a cousin with his same first name named Kyle Schwartz, who is his unnamed maternal aunt's son, and his aunt, his mother Sheila's sister, was only brought up in Kyle Schwartz's introduction episode and never brought up again; and was never seen or heard in the series. Kyle is so embarrassed by his cousin Kyle that he tried to have him either killed or delivering back to his home state, Connecticut, in his cousin Schwartz's debut episode. Kyle Broflovski, like Matt Stone, has reddish hair worn in a 'Jewfro' and wears an ushanka just like Stone himself used to wear at one point. He was also one time planned to be killed off with Butters as his replacement because Trey and Matt found him too similar to Stan, which mimics how Parker and Stone are very similar to each other in real life, since Stan and Kyle are loosely based off their creators respectively. Matt and Trey decided to keep him around because of Kyle's use of comedy with his bad relationship with Cartman and also because Stone and Parker got tired of trying to find new ways to kill Kenny off so they decided to permanently to kill Kenny off until that got changed again. He loves to study and appears very geeky about learning and getting good grades. Kyle's catchphrases are "I had to see it to believe it!", "Jesus Christ! I had to see it to believe it!", and "YOU BASTARDS!". Just like Stan having a disease that was never brought up again with Stan being an asthmatic, Kyle is a diabetic. Trey Parker and Matt Stone wanted to give Kyle reddish hair styled in a Jewfro to represent Stone's reddish-undertoned hair which he also styled in a Jewfro when he was younger, and Parker and Stone also wanted to give Kyle a Russian-Polish-Jewish last name, so they gave him the last name Broflovski. Kyle Broflovski has the most physical health problems out of anyone and everyone on the show (even more than Scott Malkinson or Sophie Gray) due to his diabetes. Despite Cartman stating in the "Ginger Kids" episode that Kyle has a not-so-fair, regular white-person skin tone and no freckles, in the "End of Obesity" Paramount+ special, Cartman notes that Kyle is "a dipshit ugly ginger with freckles", meaning that Kyle is animated to look like he does not have freckles but does indeed have freckles, just like his adoptive younger Canadian brother Ike. In "The Passion Of The Jew", he was horrified by the Mel Gibson "The Passion Of The Christ" (simply called The Passion in South Park) and his Jewish faith was shaken. He became remorseful and shaken and even tried to get other Jews to apologize for the death of Jesus at his temple or synagogue. He was conceived in Newark, New Jersey, but his mother to South Park, Colorado when she was pregnant with him and he was born and raised there. He is brought up in "Cherokee Hair Tampons" to be have diabetes. According to "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow", he, like other Jews, keeps a bang of "Jew gold" around his neck and keeps a fake one to keep the real one safe, and according to that episode, all Jews keep a bang of 'Jew gold' according their necks and keep a fake one to keep the real one safe. He is the only one of the main boys who does not have straight hair and is the only one with big hair. Catchphrases "YOU BASTARDS!" "I had to see it to believe it!"[6] "Jesus, I should've known!" "Whoa, dude!" "No, it's not cool!" "Dude, weak." "Shut up, fatass!" "Good job, fatass!" "What the hell are you doing, fatass?" "You're such a fatass, Cartman." "Don't belittle my people, you f*cking fatass!" Background Kyle starts out convinced that Cartman was probed by aliens, and tries to get him to believe him while also trying to get back his little brother, Ike. Kyle and his friends go off the rest of the episode trying to save his baby brother, which he does. The episode ends with Cartman getting pinkeye and being distraught. Kyle comes from a Jewish household. He sometimes feels left-out during the holidays, around Christmas and Hanukkah, as the rest of the town is Christian and Kyle can't celebrate Christmas. He is an American Jewish boy of Russian and Polish descent. Religious Beliefs Kyle is of the Jewish faith, but this detail is not officially revealed until "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", despite having been mentioned briefly in the second The Spirit of Christmas short, and in "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride". It was also mentioned in "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig". Cartman regularly makes derogatory remarks about the Jewish people, often directly in Kyle's presence specifically to aggravate him. Kyle appears to have mixed feelings toward Judaism, and there is conflicting evidence as to the religiousness of his family - for example, while they dress similarly to many religious Jews (Gerald, for example, always wears a yamaka), they apparently do not keep the Sabbath or follow very strict sexual lives (Sheila Stone, mother of Matt Stone, was herself a secular Sephardic Jew). Kyle's apparent indifference to religion may be part of his effort to fit in with his friends, who are mostly Roman Catholic. Kyle is more often defensive than proud of his faith, and though he regularly attends such functions as "Jew Scouts", he often has a poor grasp of the history, traditions and rituals of his religion. He is very naive, though he is seen to know more in later seasons. This could be the fault of his parents, who, in a misguided attempt to shelter their son, generally do not discuss with him the finer points of their religion. It may or may not be appropriate to call Kyle an infidel, meaning that he is disloyal toward his religion. For example: In "Starvin' Marvin", Kyle is seen eating ham at King Jimmy's Buffet. Either he does not know that ham is not kosher, or he does not observe Jewish dietary laws. It should also be noted that Kyle's parents were present. (Though Kyle might just be of a non-religious sect to not keep kosher). When he heard that his adoptive brother Ike was going to have a bris, he was under the misapprehension that it involved cutting off the entire penis rather than just the foreskin. This was despite the fact that Kyle got circumcised himself - though he was too young to remember this and did not realize that he was circumcised. (Though this could be excused since neither of his parents ever explained a circumcision to him before and Chef misunderstood it and Chef gave him the wrong idea). After seeing Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, he conceded to Cartman that Cartman was right about the Jews all along and stood up in his synagogue to demand that the Jews apologize for the death of Christ. Ironically, he personally killed Jesus in "Fantastic Easter Special", though the act was not due to malice but but Jesus' own request (so that he could resurrect himself and save Stan and the "Hare Club for Men" from being boiled alive like rabbits). Kyle was initially reluctant to agree to Jesus' request and, concerned as to the implications of a Jewish person killing Christ, only ultimately agreed provided that Eric Cartman would never know about it, this also echoes the unproven and highly controversial claim that Judas betrayed Christ upon request, not for malicious reasons. When he learned of Catholicism's conditions for getting into Heaven, he renounced his faith on the basis that if the Jews were right about the matter, it would make no difference if he were a Catholic, but if the Catholics were right, he would go to Hell for not accepting Christ. In "Chickenpox", when his father told him about how society works, he thought of a "better idea", which involved sending all the poor people to concentration camps so only rich people would live. Gerald quickly realized he was being intolerant of people less fortunate than himself and stopped this right away. This indicates that, at least early in the show's run, Kyle did not have a very clear grasp of the Holocaust or other forms of genocide. Despite being Jewish, Kyle seems very excited about the Baconalia event going on at the local Denny's. Cartman used "bacon-filled pancakes" as an enticement to get Kyle involved in the Crack Baby Basketball League. Although Kyle is not seen eating bacon, his enthusiasm calls into question if he keeps kosher as part of his Jewish faith.[7] In "Cartmanland", Kyle briefly denounces his faith after getting a hemorrhoid while Cartman inherits a million dollars and purchases a theme park. His faith is restored however, when Cartman loses control of the theme park and gets in trouble with the Internal Revenue Service. Talents According to Mr. Garrison, Kyle is a "smart" and "A+" student. Kyle, along with the other boys, is portrayed as having multiple useful and trivial talents. However, at very rare times, he is also portrayed as being ignorant, like most of the children. Knowledge of the Universe In "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000", Kyle begins to question reality once he discovers the Tooth Fairy is not real. He reads what seems to be every book on psychology, reality, and science ever written. This also leads him to question whether or not he truly exists. At the end of the episode, Kyle seems to fade from existence before going into a God-like state for a while, distorting reality and making a giant squirrel-chicken hybrid appear. In the end, he returns to normal, shrugging off the experience. Subsequently, towards the end of "Cartman's Incredible Gift", Kyle screams at Cartman and the other "psychic" detectives, causing the lights to go out and the shelves behind his hospital bed to shake and their contents to fall. Video Gaming Kyle owns an Xbox and is often seen playing video games with Stan, Kenny and Cartman. In "Guitar Queer-O", the boys compliment Kyle and Stan's skill on Guitar Hero 123, and later in the episode, they pass the million point mark together in co-op mode - a feat that was thought to be practically impossible. In "Whale W*****", Kyle is shown playing guitar or bass in Rock Band for the song Poker Face. Sports Kyle has played a numerous amount of sports including basketball, football, baseball (albeit he can't stand baseball and wanted to lose.[8]), soccer, hockey, and dodgeball. He is very talented athletically. Kyle is known to be one of the basketball players at South Park Elementary, one of two sports at which Stan is not the best (the other being dodgeball, at which Pip is considered the best). However, in "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina", he goes to the all-state game tryouts and is rejected not because of his skills, but because of the fact that he is short and Jewish (rather than tall and black). Oddly, Kyle was not in the basketball team in "Elementary School Musical", though this was probably to avoid Kyle being active in the fad. Kyle has stated that he wants to play in the Denver Nuggets someday. On the football team, however, he is very talented. He made a touchdown, which remarked his skills. He played as a guard in basketball, a wide receiver in football, and second base in baseball. He also claims to be better at basketball than Cartman because Cartman is fat.[9] Music In "Hooked on Monkey Phonics" Kyle plays the guitar to serenade home-schooled Rebecca and sing to her, and Rebecca responds by throwing him money. He also performs with the boy band Fingerbang in "Something You Can Do with Your Finger". And accompanied Stan in their attempt at reaching one million points in co-op mode on Guitar Hero, in "Guitar Queer-O". And is seen performing a musical number in "Elementary School Musical". He also played bass in the boys' band Moop. He does not appear to have much sense of rhythm in terms of dancing however, as in "Rainforest Shmainforest"; he kept messing up every time the group performed (although in 'Elementary School Musical' this was contradicted by the fact the main boys performed a long and complicated dance routine perfectly). Kyle also shouts after Robert Smith in "Mecha-Streisand" that " 'Disintegration' is the best album ever!". Computer Skills Kyle is shown to have relatively strong computer skills, as shown in "The Snuke" wherein he uses various public resources to thwart a terrorist threat from a Soviet-style militant. In the film, he initiates research on the clitoris and accidentally stumbling on pornography featuring Liane Cartman. When arrested by the Japanese government for ecoterrorism in "Whale W*****" Stan enlists the help of Kyle (who remained in South Park) to manipulate an image showing a dolphin and whale in the Enola Gay to a cow and chicken. Kyle is also shown to be active on social media websites such as Facebook and using popular electronic devices such as Apple's iPad in "HUMANCENTiPAD". During the events of "Bass to Mouth", he solved the mystery of who was behind the Eavesdropper website scandal by tracking the IP address within the school. He is considered to have the best technological skills out of his entire class. Writing and Poetry Kyle occasionally phrases what he says in a somewhat poetic way when he speaks philosophically, questioning reality and why things are as they are. In "Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods" Mr. Garrison begins to explain haiku's (a form of poetry) to the class, but stops on noticing Cartman was not in the classroom. Kyle shortly after comes up with three haiku's on the spot which are all used to insult Cartman. Also, in "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" Kyle is informed that Cartman had three extra tickets on the 28th row at the Raging Pussies concert, but Kyle's mom tells him he cannot go to see it unless he has done all his chores and brought democracy to Cuba (assuming it to be an impossible task). This prompts Kyle to write a letter to Fidel Castro, who is actually convinced to bring democracy to Cuba after reading Kyle's innocent, persuasive rhymes, lyrics, and words. Kyle also seems to take a leading role in writing the book The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs with the other boys in "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs". Languages In "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000", Kyle seems to speak pig-Latin extremely well, even losing Stan in conversation. He can also speak and understand Marklar well. Superhero Alter-Ego See: Human Kite Health Kyle becomes sick more often than any of the other boys, despite Kenny dying repeatedly. He experiences a painful infectious hemorrhoid when Cartman inherits $1 million from his grandmother and uses it to buy his own amusement park in "Cartmanland". He also experienced renal failure and needed a kidney transplant in "Cherokee Hair Tampons". In "Guitar Queer-O", sickness apparently prevents Kyle from practicing Guitar Hero as much as Stan does. By contrast, in "Chickenpox", he is the only person in his class who does not easily catch the illness, even after playing a game in which Kenny spit into his mouth and he had to swallow it while saying, "Ooky Mouth". He ultimately catches it after prolonged exposure to Stan and Cartman, and contracts a more severe case than any of the other children. Kyle and Cartman share the AB negative blood type, as revealed in "Cherokee Hair Tampons". It was also revealed in "Cherokee Hair Tampons" that Kyle is diabetic, which may be the root for his many health concerns. He is also shown to not have great oral health after getting two dental fillings in "You Have 0 Friends". List of Health Problems Chickenpox (possibly Shingles) in "Chickenpox" (semi-serious, passed out and collapsed backward, but he was stabilized at the hospital.) Kidney Failure in "Cherokee Hair Tampons" (fatal unless he received a kidney a that matched his AB- blood type; Stan tricked Cartman into donating a kidney) Type I Diabetes, mentioned in "Cherokee Hair Tampons". Hemorrhoid in "Cartmanland" (became seriously infected, was to be fatal due to Kyle giving up on life after a religious crisis. The condition caused heart failure. Stan wheeled Kyle to the amusement park; he regained hope when he witnessed Cartman's tantrum). Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS) in "Make Love, Not Warcraft". Died of AIDS in "Woodland Critter Christmas" (In Cartman's story) and actually got infected in "Tonsil Trouble". He was cured of the AIDS though with a cash injection. Was sick with the common cold during the events of "The Snuke", but grew better at the end of the episode. While not directly related to his health, the following events jeopardized his life: Almost died in a Smug Storm in "Smug Alert!". However, he was saved by Cartman. Died in "Imaginationland, Episode II" from a ManBearPig attack. However, he was revived by Cartman. Died in "Imaginationland, Episode III" from missile fired by Al Gore (re-imagined by Butters). Bashed his head in "Cartman's Incredible Gift". Another example of his poor health is getting the bird flu in the season 27 trailer. Grounded Moments Like the other boys, Kyle is rarely grounded. He does regret most of the things he is grounded for. Kyle has been grounded on the following occasions: South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut - Kyle was grounded for two weeks with the other boys for going to see an R rated Terrance and Phillip Movie, which caused Kenny's death. "Fun with Veal" - Kyle, along with the rest of the boys, was grounded for keeping calves from being slaughtered and sold as veal as well defying his parents when referring to his mother, Sheila as a "baby cow-killing b****". "Butt Out" - Kyle was grounded for three weeks for smoking outside school with the other boys and for accidentally starting a fire on the school. "Major Boobage" - Kyle was grounded by his parents in this episode because they caught him hiding a cat and thought that he was cheesing when in fact, Kyle was keeping the cat away from Kenny. However, his grounding was quickly lifted after his father, Gerald, who later cheesed, was caught in a huge scandal. Criminal Record Kyle has committed various crimes over the course of the series. Child Abuse: Has said "Ready Ike? Kick the baby!" and kicked his brother, Ike, around like a football numerous times, such as in "Cartmen Gets an Anal Probe" and "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut," although Ike somehow avoids getting hurt in each of these instances. Negligence: In "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe", he leaves Ike behind at the bus stop, resulting in his abduction by Visitors. Kyle spends the rest of the episode trying to get him back. In "Ike's Wee Wee", he puts Ike on a freight train bound for Lincoln, Nebraska, in an attempt to stop his parents from circumcising Ike. Upon arrival, Ike is used as a table stand at a bar there. In "The Wacky Molestation Adventure", Kyle plays football with Ike and asks him to throw it, but when Ike tries to throw it, he accidentally drops it on himself making him sink into the snow and when Kyle tries to help ike, his friends interrupt and invite him to The Raging Pussies and Kyle forgets about ike being stuck. Later in the same episode after kyle and ikes parents get arrested, it shows Ike stick a fork in a toaster. Drug Abuse (Taking Hallucinogenics): He has taken a hallucinogenic (LSD/acid) in "Smug Alert!". False Imprisonment: In "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe", following Wendy's advice, he ties Cartman to a tree, using him as bait to get the Visitors to return to Earth and present an opportunity to rescue Ike. In "Spontaneous Combustion", he and Stan, as part of a passion play at the latter's church, tie Cartman to a cross and place him on top of the nearby hill. Instead of untying him, though, they leave him there, thinking he will die and resurrect, helping to solve his father's impotence somehow. Filing False Police Report: In "The Wacky Molestation Adventure", he lies to the police about his parents abusing him. Attempted Assisted Suicide: In "Death". he tries to help Stan kill his grandfather at the latter's request, as he has lost his will to live. They are unsuccessful in doing so. Underage Smoking: In "Butt Out", he and the rest of the three of the boys smoked because he and his three best friends did not want to be like people that told them how bad smoking was and the people of the "Butt Out" auditorium assembly said if they didn't smoke, they'd be just like them. Eavesdropping: Along with Stan, secretly records Cartman playing with dolls in "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty S***". Despite their counselor Mr. Mackey's assurance that this is legal, it is deemed eavesdropping under the law, as it involves secretly recording someone's conversations without their consent, and is thus a crime. Usage of Illegal Fireworks: At the end of "Summer Sucks", he and Stan use two Tijuana bottle rockets smuggled into the US by Jimbo and Ned to destroy the giant snake firework that is threatening the entire United States. The usage of fireworks of this kind is illegal in the state of Colorado. Trespassing: In "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls", he ventures into the sewers to visit Mr. Hankey. In "Cartmanland", he attempts to break into Cartman's theme park, but pops his hemorrhoid trying to get in and is subsequently hospitalized. Assault: Enraged by Cartman's wasting of money at the Cow Day's festival in "Cow Days", he attacks him. He has also attacked Cartman in numerous other episodes. Academic Fraud: In "Gnomes", Kyle and his study group (his friends and Tweek) use the essay Tweek's dad wrote for them. This is academic fraud, because they are claiming they created a piece of academic work that they did not write. Burglary: In "Prehistoric Ice Man", he breaks into Dr. Mephesto's laboratory and frees Larry. Assault/Fighting: In "Prehistoric Ice Man", he gets into a dispute with Stan over Larry's name (he calls him "Steve", Stan calls him "Gorak") which ultimately culminates in a brawl at the train station. Conspiracy to Commit Treason: In "Chinpokomon", he gets caught up in the Chinpokomon fad. As a result, he is brainwashed by the Japanese into launching an attack on Pearl Harbor but is stopped from doing so by his parents use of reverse psychology and (contradictory) words of wisdom from Stan. Use of Weapons of Mass Destruction/Manslaughter: In "World Wide Recorder Concert", in an effort to show up the New York kids at Yoko Ono's recorder concert, he and his friends alter their song sheets to contain the brown note, so when the New York kids play their music, they will lose bowel control, soiling their pants and humiliating them. However, the organizers discover the revized sheet, believing that it is for the entire performance, resulting in the fake sheet music being distributed to every single child at the concert. As a result, the brown note - backed by the lungs of over four million American third-graders - is heard throughout the world, with disastrous consequences and, in at least one case, loss of life. The Boys did, however, succeed in impressing the New York kids. Organized Criminal Activity: In "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000", becomes involved in the tooth trade. Attempting to Facilitate a Prison Escape/Smuggling Contraband into a Correctional Facility: In "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000", he attempts to give Cartman a cake with a file into prison to help him break out. Due to prison regulations prohibiting inmates from bringing food to their cells, however, he fails to do this. He does however, give Cartman cigarettes. Drug Abuse: In "Timmy 2000", he and all of South Park get high on Ritalin. In "Butt Out", he and the boys took up smoking. In "Quest for Ratings", he and the rest of the Sexy Action School News team get high on cough medicine as a halluciongenic to try to find ideas for their next show. In "Smug Alert!", he takes acid to cope with his father's newfound smugness from owning a hybrid and living in San Francisco. Framing/Lying to Law Enforcement: In "The Wacky Molestation Adventure", he claims to be molested to get his parents sent to prison. His parents are promptly arrested and, with no apparent trial, are sent directly to prison. Civil Unrest/Rioting: Participant in the South Park Elementary gender war in "Proper Condom Use". False Imprisonment / Trespassing: In "The Entity", he tricks his cousin Kyle Schwartz into boarding a freight plane bound for Antarctica. False Advertising: In "Jared Has Aides", he, along with Stan and Cartman, attempt to create an ad campaign for City Wok in the style of Subway's Jared campaign, claiming that Butters lost weight by eating food there, when in reality they simply performed liposuction surgery on him (see below). Performing Surgery Without a License: In "Jared Has Aides", he, along with Stan and Cartman, perform liposuction surgery on Butters, as part of the fraudulent promotion for City Wok (see above) Terrorism/Burglary/Theft: In "Fun with Veal", he, Stan, Cartman and Butters, disgusted after discovering veal comes from baby calves, rescue several of them and bring them to Stan's house, barricading themselves in Stan's room and refusing to leave. After a long standoff with the authorities, they are eventually captured and arrested,but do succeed in forcing the FDA to change the name of veal to "tortured baby cow meat", causing demand in veal to plummet and saving the calves from their fate. Arson: In "Butt Out", he and the other boys accidentally burned the school to the ground. Also caused a fire in preschool that caused serious life-threatening burns to Miss Claridge. Burglary/Theft: In "The Simpsons Already Did It", he, Stan, Cartman and Tweek, thinking they accidentally killed Ms. Choksondik by putting brine shrimp in her coffee (the news reporting semen, which they misheard as "Sea-Men", was discovered in her stomach), attempt to cover their tracks by breaking into the morgue and stealing the semen sample recovered from her. Breaking and Entering: In "Free Hat", he, Stan, Cartman and Tweek break into Skywalker Ranch in an attempt to steal the original print of Raiders of the Lost Ark, to prevent it from being remastered. However, they are caught in the process. Vandalism: In "Toilet Paper", he and the boys toilet-paper their art teacher's house. Despite the relatively mild nature of this crime, Kyle feels extreme guilty and even suffers nightmares about the (nonexistent) terror he helped inflict upon the teacher and her family. Attempted Murder: In "South Park is Gay!", after being bullied for not conforming to the metrosexual fad, he decides, along with Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave, to travel to New York City and murder the hosts of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy for popularizing the fad. Their plans are thwarted when Mr. Slave severely injures himself trying to crash through a glass window. Despite this, the hosts do not press charges against them, so the police do not prosecute the three. Murder: In "Sexual Healing", he and Butters are ordered by President Obama to shoot at a "wizard alien" who, unbeknown to them, is a soldier dressed up in an alien costume. However, this does not really count as a crime as they were forced by the authorities to kill the soldier and were tricked into thinking he was an alien. Illegally Downloading Music: In "Christian Rock Hard", he, Stan, and Kenny try to find inspiration for their band Moop and download various songs off of the internet illegally. They are swiftly arrested by the FBI and forced to witness the ever-so-slightly-reduced luxury musicians have to endure because of music piracy's minimal-to-negligible effects on their income, after which they are promptly released. Endangerment/Medical Neglect: In "Good Times with Weapons", he and the rest of the boys refuse to take an injured Butters to a hospital, fearing their parents would find out what that they hurt him. Instead, they disguise him as a dog and try to take him at an animal hospital. Butters escapes, is found by a shelter, and nearly put down. Suggesting Oral Rape (Suggesting Rape): Even though Kyle only meant for Cartman to have his (Cartman's) penis in Butters' mouth to "cancel out the gay polarity" as a joke or as a way to mess with Cartman to "reverse Cartman being gay for sticking Butters' penis in his mouth" in "Cartman Sucks" even though later dialogues (You finally figured it [that it wouldn’t cancel out any gay polarity] out, huh?” suggest he suspected Cartman wouldn’t actually go through with the attempt, he still voiced it. Although, this remains unconfirmed because no point in the episode had Kyle specify this should happen through rape.
